New Fifty Shades of Grey Manuscript Stolen!

Well, it would seem that 'pulses were sent racing at the publisher of E L James's new erotic novel when a copy of the manuscript was found to have been stolen just days before its release', according to the Independent. It was scheduled for release on June18, which is - barf bags at the ready - the same date as Christian Grey's birthday.

If you ask me - nobody has by the way - the body responsible for this worldwide headline grabbing robbery, should be awarded, at least, a big fat shiny gold medal. The kind that could weigh an elephant's neck down. frankly, they've done us all a massive favour.

Isn't it enough that we bought into the E L James drivel with three over-exposed, badly-written books already on the market? Was it not enough that we had to put up with all the hype, before during and after, when it came to the film version? I say enough already. The person who left it unguarded in the first place, possibly and sensibly, thought nobody in their right mind would want to steal it. On second thoughts, stick a gold medal on that genius as well.

I am also thinking that the book was probably so easy to steal because it was a really short book, maybe? It is after all the book that retells the story of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' from the perspective of its male lead. I mean, seriously, it should be the shortest book ever. As what's her face -Ana- goes on and on about Christian's kisses, his expertise love-making, his musky smell, I'd be disappointed if he weren't thinking along the lines of, 'F***, she's taking her clothes off, did I change my underwear today?' moving on to 'Seriously? she fell for that?' and 'Best come up with something that does NOT involve me taking my clothes off coz I definitely forgot to change my underwear this morning!"

Anyway, according to the Independent, Penguin Random House declined to comment on the matter but there was even speculation last night that the disappearance might be part of a publicity stunt. The Daily Mail reports that “it is feared thieves may be planning to release pirated versions of the novel, or sell extracts to media outlets”. Oh the bother!