'My First Goodbye of the Year’

by Rana Asfour


First day of the New Year and again I stand where I have stood countless times before. In front of the mirror having a heart-to-heart with the reflection staring me smack in the face. With a knowing look in its eyes, it knows that what has brought me here, to this déjà vu, has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve just finished photocopying last year's 'resolutions' list. ‘Here we go again’ it sighs, oblivious of the master plan taking shape in my mind.

The reflection follows my every move as I tape a Facebook photo onto its periphery. A photo taken of me at a ‘White Christmas’ party just over a week ago, revealing my spreading weight in all its glory. Stealing a furtive glance towards my nemesis, its eyes seem to accuse me of deceit, ‘Really?’ it smirks, ‘You had no idea it was this bad?’ ‘No.’ I reply. ‘I really didn’t’.

Emboldened now, I take a long hard look at my spit image, visualise it shrinking before my very eyes. I witness the flicker of something akin to bewilderment, then fear, and finally acquiescence of what will be will be. With the message definitely conveyed, a flying kiss seals the deal. I turn away but not before uttering my first ‘goodbye’ of the year.